The Seeds of Evil
by hikachu
Summary: At some point Alois starts to think that spreading his legs for those eyes that only look at him, only want him wouldn't be so mortifying. So useless. So painful. Implied Alois/Claude.


**I**

Jim's birth is a miracle. He comes out, dirty and crying, of a woman's womb like everyone else, like all the other children—the ones that are normal, but he has no father.

There is no one to hold his mother's hand as she pants and tries to push that wrinkly creature out into the world. There is no one to wrap a soft towel around Jim and keep him warm until she has regains enough strength to take him into her arms; he cries out of loneliness and confusion for several minutes, smearing torn bits of placenta on the white sheets.

Jim's mother is a bit like the Virgin Mary: she gave birth to a cute child with no father. This is a true miracle but somehow, for some reason, it doesn't make her happy in the slightest.

**II**

Jim's mother lets men touch her without love in exchange for money that is never enough. Her son doesn't blame her at first, but the more he tries to understand her the more everything gets confusing. She is not cruel to him, not intentionally at least, but she is distant; perhaps she doesn't care at all. She doesn't know how to be a mother and her son starts to hate her for it after a while.

They both want to be loved but they can't love each other.

Jim's mother, who's a bit like the Virgin Mary, is a whore.

Unlike the Virgin Mary, though, she gives birth to another child; Luca is a miraculous child with no father, just like his older brother.

Jim loves Luca very much.

**III**

"I love you, Luca."

"Like mom did?"

(Mom is dead and nobody in the village really cared. Not even her children. Luca cried a little, yes, but not too much.)

"No, no. Mom didn't really love us."

"But she said…"

"She lied! Who cleaned you this morning when you laughed too hard and all the milk came out of your nose?"

(That morning they happened to have some milk – enough to completely fill one chipped glass, the only one they own, and Jim let his little brother drink it all.)

"… You, brother."

"Who tells you awesome stories every night? Who caught the fireflies for you last summer?"

Luca laughs. "You. It was you, brother."

"See Luca?" Jim smiles softly. "That's love. I love you."

"Hm-hm."

**IV**

Earl Trancy is old and heavy. He's very rich and besides that there's nothing remarkable about him, except his ugliness.

He reminds Jim of a fish: the horrible mouth with thin lips, the protruding eyes covered by a thin milky veil… but most of all it's the hands. His hands, always cold and viscid, that touch Alois hungrily every night.

**V**

Jim meets Claude in a forest.

Claude, you see, is really different from anyone else he has met until now: strangers either smile too much or yell too much, and always, always believe they know far more things than they actually do, especially when dealing with lonely dirty children like Jim (and Luca).

Claude is different in a way that makes Jim stay awake at night and his cheeks redden.

**VI**

Earl Trancy becomes Jim's father on a whim: he was pretty and sparkled like a diamond in a sea of mud and trash; he was the disgusting vermin that suddenly became a butterfly, so he adopted him.

Jim let himself be sold and bought because Luca wasn't there anymore.

**VII**

This is something that only Alois, Claude and the old Earl know, because Jim wasn't famous nor important, and all those who knew him are no longer in this world anyway.

Jim McCain is dead. He's resting with little Luca.

'Alois Trancy' sounds so much better. It's so elegant and actually fits his angelic looks.

That, and Alois doesn't want his little brother to sleep in that dark, cold place all alone.

**VIII**

Sex, Alois thinks, is useless and dirty. Boring and a bit disgusting. But Jim used to do and endure so many dirty and disgusting things to survive, for Luca's sake, and withstanding this is much easier than stealing a loaf of bread before that greedy fat man working at the bakery notices.

Sex, he learns, is also a way to create a connection with someone else, a weapon to make them yours. Idiots become addicted to this meaningless act and the world is full of them: he has to bite his tongue every time the old geezer kisses his feet and caresses him as if he were an angel, his savior, or the impulse to laugh and kick that pathetic man would overwhelm him otherwise.

Sex is pretty Alois' only and greatest power.

**IX**

Once, on one of the rare days the Earl allows him to go out on his own, Alois gets into a fight. In less than twenty minutes, the other kid is bleeding from the mouth and the nose and although he has no reason to do so, Claude is taking care of Alois' skinned knees.

It's not the first time they're alone together; but they have never been this physically close.

"You should be more careful. Your father won't be happy about this."

"Ahhh, screw that old man! Who cares!"

Claude just blinks and goes back to applying bandages. After a while his hands cup Alois' tender calf and thin ankle to inspect his work.

The boy's heart beats faster; this is too much and not enough at the same time.

**X**

He despises women and how easily they degrade themselves, spreading their legs to delude their hearts and protect their powdered cheeks: he has never considered selling himself when Luca was still his cute little brother and not food for maggots.

And he can't remember when, exactly, but at some point Alois starts to think that spreading his legs for those eyes that only look at him, only want him wouldn't be so mortifying. So useless. So painful.

Maybe he even _wants_ to.

**XI**

Alois is almost fourteen. Claude is older than Earl Trancy with his cold viscid hands.

But when the boy gets close – too close – again, Claude lets his hands slip under Alois' shirt. Because that's what Alois wants and he yearns for Alois' soul: if you become mine, you can have more of this, golden eyes promise.

The boy stares into those eyes and marvels at that longing. Do you want me? Only me? Do you want _what__I__am_?

Alois's lips part; they look a bit swollen and shiny, as if he's been chewing on them for a while now. As if he's been kissed.

The next day, Alois is the new head, and Claude his mysterious butler.

**XII**

Hannah is one of the maids that work at the Trancy estate. She's very beautiful but talks very little and almost too politely, which makes forgetting her existence very easy, most of the time.

To Alois the few words she mutters from time to time are more than enough, because she tries to be kind – like a mother – and Alois doesn't need a mother (why would he want another woman like _that_?) and doesn't like women.

Women are cold and pretend they can feel love just to survive; nothing is more important to them than their own heart and the powder on their cheeks.

Disgusting. Disgusting.

Even more than the cold and viscid hands that used to touch him at night.

**XIII**

Darkness is so scary nowadays.

Darkness is the color of solitude and all the grief that he can't really leave behind.

What's hiding over there? Who? What whispers are beyond this silence? It's so deafening someone must be yelling.

Claude, Claude, where is Claude? Please, Claude, stay there and never leave him.

**XIV**

It's morning and the tea room is filled to the brim with sunlight, golden like Claude's eyes but warm.

Hannah is standing close to him, muttering something. Their hair is pressed together, mingling. Almost like two lovers laying in bed together after making love.

Alois' features twist horribly and he kicks Hannah, behind the knees, and pushes her so that she'll surely fall and smash her beautiful face against the marble floor. Then he stomps on her hands. Again and again and again.

The noises are sickening, but Hannah never says anything except for a whispered, _master_. Claude observes the scene calmly. Alois smirks furiously; you whore, he pants, and it looks like he's never going to stop.

Crack crack crak. Several fingernails break, one even falls off. Crack crunch crack crunch. Her pretty fingers are now bent in ways they aren't supposed to.

"Oh," he coos, "how disgusting. Just what were you thinking, coming here in this state, heh, Hannah? Get out of my sight and go clean up yourself. _Alone_," he adds and almost hits her again.

"Master…" Claude begins. His tone is too flat to predict if this is going to be a gentle reproach or just a quiet expression of surprise, and at any rate, Alois never lets him finish.

"Hey Claude," he says casually, throwing his arms around his waist. "Do you know that relationships between servants are not allowed?" he asks, even though Claude is a demon and not really a servant and could turn him into dust right now if he wanted to. But Claude wants, desires his soul with all its imperfections and poison, so he won't – Alois knows, he can tell.

Claude could reply with the truth: we were simply discussing the menu for today's breakfast, but he doesn't, because he's a demon and demons don't care about things like explanations, jealousy and the feelings of others. Instead he says: "As the Trancy butler I would never think of wasting my time with something so trivial."

"Good," Alois' smile widens and he rubs his face against Claude's chest, cat-like.

He doesn't force himself to remember that demons simply aren't capable of love in the first place.


End file.
